Phil was a quiet man on the surface. Wasn’t the first to speak up in a room full of people, but when he did say something, it mattered. He had a deep perspective, a willingness to try new things, strong in his beliefs, open to change. He was one of the best friends I have ever had. Honest, open, truth, and cared about being part of the music we created.

The Philosophy of Phil is simply SPACE”

How do we fill it. He knew the dynamics in a song, when to lay off, when to add something special, he understood the growth, he listened and learned before adding what the song called for. He did it well. That philosophy of thought will carry forward, as Phil Desmarais has left a very big mark on my life and the decisions I have made and will make as I move forward through the world. There will be more I share about Phil in the time to come

It’s a warm afternoon,

There’s a bunch of sunflowers standing in a beautiful vase in the kitchen, light pouring in through a big sliding window that is cracked open letting the perfect breeze wander the house. Underneath the window there’s a tall table…with a chair on each side, (you sort of climb up and put your feet on the bars below, seats 2 really quite comfortable. A conduit for great conversation.

on the table there’s a favourite cup, with a splash of French vanilla left at the bottom, and there’s a newspaper…folded to the crossword section…every clue, every square almost filled out completely…beside that…there’s a pen just laying there waiting for a hand (that will never come), and outside, inches away from the glass… in the warmth of the golden sun,  there are hummingbirds…hovering.

This beautiful soul was wise. Straight forward and honest with me my wife and my children. Long hugs and open ears,  Instantly accepting and generous…interested in each of us and the details from our stories.

From the moment we landed in her house and brought our mayhem with us, the conversation was true…real…in depth…insightful…loving as she shared stories of her life and experiences.. and gave perspectives to things in our lives that we hadn’t even considered.

Nothing is easy about times like these…

Doug and Glen,

When my mom passed away…your mom was there…I mean she was there…beginning middle end… in the room…beside us all…strong, loving, dedicated, selfless, accommodating, and realistic, ready to give her heart and soul, and-a dose of the truth all at once… and only a short time before that she lost her husband… I mean aunty drea was strong. And kinda my hero… I once watched her stop my childhood bully in his tracks. With a word and a look…she had a power that I respect so much…Drea had character, she had wit, she had an infectious laugh, a chortle even…that once it passed a certain point, it turned hysterical… you were pulled into the non stop laugh a thon…and it felt so good.

throughout the years that I got to know her…the conversations were countless, deep, almost always of the heart and often ended way past the other side of midnight.

Both of my beautiful aunts have become pillars in my life since the loss of my mother, deep rooted trees that while they still sway in lifes wind,   they have a steadiness that you can lean on…count on, trust!

I wish I could tell her just how important she was in all of our lives. I wish I could have one more conversation…I wish

I will be forever grateful for the last 15 years of Dreas guidance and wisdom in my life. It has not only been something I will treasure for the rest of my days, but I will pass on as I move forward into the moments ahead.

All of you have your story with this amazing human…and I know you all miss her very much. While we can’t hear her talk anymore…we can still listen, we can remember…we can look back and share a story of her with others…we can give a long hug to someone who needs it, we can lean in to the signs around us, whether that be

a cat trying to get inside,

A meteor streaking across the sky, or a hummingbird

outside the window

Inches from the glass

in the golden sun…

Hovering.

Frank was the lead guitarist of my band Garrity. Frank was an entertainer through and through. Oozed charisma. Taught me stage presence, patience, swagger. Frank taught me how to swing my guitar around my neck in the middle of a show…a move that cost me my favourite guitar hours before a huge show.

Frank was the fire in Garrity. The change we needed to become more of a Rock Band. He was also the beginning of the end of Garrity. Not because he intended it…but his sound was different and it caused a slight rift with the other players. Over the years I kept in touch with Frank very little. When I heard of his passing I was deeply shook. I will miss the energy he carried and I will carry the energy he transferred to me forward. Frank left a mark.